In variably, none of the singles I’ve worked with were ever (relationship) trained, nor ever considered relationship building as a co-creative process. Nor did they see relating, connecting, intimacy, and conversation as artforms in themselves, requiring training and practice. They just kept doing the same thing over and over again, striking out every time, coming away with a dim outlook on their relationship future.
And there was a prevailing sense of ineptitude. No one really knew what they were doing, were going through the motions and never connecting with anyone. how to navigate their pursuit of connection in a sea of other relationship-challenged people looking for connection, without a game plan.
They may have had a general idea about what a ‘date’ was (meet someone new, hope you’re attracted, meet the one, hit the jackpot), but needed a working definition.
I spelled it out, “A date is a time limited encounter, during which you assess your experience to determine whether or not you want to get together again.” It's really a pre-date to see whether you want to date that person and you spend that time together assessing how you feel and quality of connection, to then make a decision and to then have a brief conversation, or at least verbalize the verdict. Close, move on and get ready for a fresh new encounter in a "clean slate" state of mind and with zero attachment to what happens. Dating is an opportunity to practice taking one encounter at a time and to fully engage in each one for the duration of your time together.
Yes. Rely on the connections you make and intimacy you create for sustenance!
Feel free to leave questions and comments by sending me an email >>HERE<<.
I’d love to see and respond to them.