Most of the thousands of hours I spent working with couples and families who sought therapy to address long standing discord and locked in dynamics that replayed like a broken record, in the quicksand of reactive and charged exchanges, unexpressed feelings and unresolved issues and lots of displaced anger, resentment, hurt, volatility; without ever, or extremely rarely, connected in a warmer and more loving way. They stopped expressing their love, never knew how and had eluded them all of their lives. This inspires me to do the work I do, which is all about empowering the transformation of relationships by teaching you how to express love, which could also become mindful practices specifically for expressing love and registering the experience in the process.
4 Ways 2 Practice Love Appreciation - Tell each other what you appreciate about them, what makes them special and unique, i.e., something said or done, many times, practice. Acknowledgement - Tell each other what you want to acknowledge about them, i.e., something said or done, what you admire or respect and what makes them special. Affection - You must first be in touch with your affection. When you’re in touch, it will be incumbent upon you to say or do something, touch, wink, hug, smile so that your sentiment is received and felt. Listening - This is seemingly the easiest way of all. All you have to do is just listen, just putting your attention on them and their experience as they’re sharing it with you. When you feel heard, you feel loved. Listening is loving. Practice. Practice. Practice. The goal is always for loving and connecting exchanges to exceed heated, conflictual and disconnecting ones. Yes. Rely on the connections you make and intimacy you create for sustenance!
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