You Can’t Connect if You’re not Connected

Friday, June 14, 2024

Primary Blog/You Can’t Connect if You’re not Connected

For the last several weeks, we’ve been riding on the theme that if you are in pursuit of connection, you must be self-aware; you must be conscious and connected within yourself. And since most of us are not conscious and connected, it’s incumbent upon us to do the self-work necessary to get in tune with what is happening inside of us.

We’ve been talking about the challenges that are par for the course when you’re in a space of co-creation including, being honest and real, acting as a separate autonomous entity, setting boundaries between ‘me’ and ‘you,’ having a (primary) relationship with you Self, giving and receiving feedback, distinguishing the three relationships in one relationship (the relationship I have with myself, the relationship you have with yourself and the relationship ‘me’ and ‘you’ have together, called, ‘us’); the Four Cornerstones of an intimate relationship: respect, trust, acceptance and understanding; all require self-awareness.

You can’t connect if you’re not connected. You can connect with someone else the extent to which you are connected within yourself.

Additionally, if you’re not self-aware, you are not going to achieve a level of proficiency of the three other essential (communication) skills: Self-disclosure, Listening of Asking Questions.

On order for your shares or disclosures to have any substance and depth, you must be dialed into your juicy essence. The more dialed in to your experience you are, the more connectable and fertile you’ll be.

In order for you to be able to listen attentively and feel into the other’s experience so that they feel heard, felt and loved, you must have access to your experience.

In order for you to ask questions that force the other to look more closely at themselves and show that you’re interested in and getting to know them and will be appreciated for the asking and make you feel closer and more connected to each other, you must be self aware.

The question now is, do you have the motivation and commitment to do the self-work necessary to shed light on your unconscious and bring you in touch with yourself.

Yes. Rely on the connections you make and intimacy you create for sustenance!

Feel free to leave questions and comments below or you may send me an email HERE

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Hi, Daniel

Daniel A. Linder is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Relationship Therapist and Trainer, an Addiction and Intervention specialist, with nearly four decades of experience working with individuals, couples and families.

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The Miracle of Connection

The Birth and Life of an Intimate Relationship

The Miracle of Connection cracks the code to make the miracle of connection happen for yourself so that you can forge deeper and more intimate connections than you ever imagined was possible.

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