“The Sex Is Great, But The Relationship Doesn’t Work.” What Do You Do? (07/18/2022)

Friday, June 14, 2024

Primary Blog/“The Sex Is Great, But The Relationship Doesn’t Work.” What Do You Do? (07/18/2022)

The Four Basic Dating/Relating Scenarios

  • ​Mutual Interest/Attraction
  • You're interested/attracted but not reciprocated
  • The Other is attracted/interested, but you are not in them
  • Mutual Disinterest, Zero connection, and a bust all the way around.

There is a fifth I neglected to mention last week, for singles are dating actively and frequently get sexually involved early on before there is an emotional connection or relationship established. It is very common to find yourself in a situation with someone that you regret having gotten yourself into or are dumbfounded by how you got there.

Fifth is, ‘’The sex is great, but the relationship sucks, (or we’re arguing all the time, not getting along, should be this difficult to communicate, nothing gets resolved, never get to understanding each other."

Attraction and sex heighten excitement, bodily and emotional imagination gets a lift as well, idealization, your perception gets distorted and judgment impaired. You’re at increased risk of getting over-involved fast, asassumingore of a relationship that there is o,r “Uh Oh-” you’re in a situation you don’t want to be in, and you want to get out of but don’t know how.

Cognitive dissonance is at work here, square peg in round hole, trying to get the relationship fit the mold of idealization, rather than, mindful practice staying connected and assessing how you feel observant and remain somewhat detach, take one encounter at a time, enjoy the experience without having to act on impulse, surf the waves of some very hot sex, without having to get more emotionally involved.

You need to have some humility to take care of yourself. Sex is a slippery slope.

Mindful Practice- Enjoy the experience and excitement without losing objectivity while staying abreast about how you feel, the actual amount of time you spent together, or assume more of a relationship than it is.

Feel free to leave questions and comments below or you may send me an email here.

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Hi, Daniel

Daniel A. Linder is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Relationship Therapist and Trainer, an Addiction and Intervention specialist, with nearly four decades of experience working with individuals, couples and families.

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