The secret key to an ever-growing and deepening relationship is based on The 51-49% Factor – The Optimal Energetic Balance in an Intimate Relationship.


The 51-49% Factor is a formula I came up with for understanding the miracle of connection and what makes it a miracle, and a numeric blueprint of the requisite conditions that must be in place. It’s the sweet spot where you want to be how you want to conduct yourself in any relationship, and when you are as deeply engaged and in sync as you could possibly be.

Imagine a pie, a (relationship) pie, with a line down the middle. The pie represents a relationship that consists of two relationships: one with (S)elf and one with (O)ther, or ‘me’ and ‘you'. On the one side is 51% (the relationship with S and on the other side is 49% (the relationship with O. You see that S is the slightly larger half, with a majority stake of the pie, and therefore is primary and takes precedence over the relationship with Other, the slightly smaller piece of the pie and therefore has secondary status.

What makes the energetic balance optimal is that (51%) is the bare minimum for solid grounding and for acting as a separate autonomous entity, which leaves (49%) of dynamic energy available for engaging in the sacred space of co-creation, which is the absolute maximum amount you can bring without the relationship with your Self losing any ground.

The secret key to an ever-growing and deepening relationship is for the two people to be aligned in a purpose that is based on the 51-49% Factor. They have enough conversations about how they want to be and conduct themselves with each other based on the understanding that their relationship with their Selves is primary and that they are committed to supporting each other to honor the relationship with their Self as primary – take care of yourself before you take care of the other, consider yourself, what is best and true for you, before responding to each other.

Keeping your relationships with your Selves as primary increases your fertility, and staying conscious and connected within yourselves gives you access to your juicy essences, which ripens the conditions for the miracle of connection and intimacy to occur over and over again for the life of the relationship.

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