Friday, June 14, 2024
How do you practice being honest and real, speaking and responding freely and spontaneously? The practice is being in touch, identifying and sharing your experience, whatever thoughts, feelings at any given point in time in matter of fact and neutral way.
Being honest and real is simply speaking your truth at any particular moment, whatever your experience is, just saying what’s so for you. Being honest and real is the way to build a threshold for safety in which you’re comfortable to share your truth, with no fanfare, just as a matter of course.
Safety should not be a deterrence when what you’re talking about is nothing more than your true experience and unique essence, but not necessarily anything personal, private, or vulnerable nature. When you practice being honest and real enough, it becomes second nature. You can practice checking-in with anyone, anytime about anything, and practice listening at the same time. You don’t have to be from Brooklyn.
Let’s make an important distinction between being honest and real and trusting someone to open up, to be more personal, vulnerable and deeply connected. Being honest and real with each other is how you get to know each other, forge understanding and be authentic, without having to get deeply personal or emotionally involved, i.e., debriefing your experiences after seeing a movie together.
It’s when you’re looking to connect more deeply and intimately that everything changes, when safety becomes the issue. When what you’re sharing is of a more personal and private nature, and being vulnerable goes beyond safety. Trust becomes the issue.
How much you can trust depends on past experiences together that bolstered trust (or broke trust), that invited openness and vulnerability. You have to build trust before you can connect deeply and intimately, continue opening up to each other and being vulnerable.
Yes. Rely on the connections you make and the intimacy you create for sustenance!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnrWiHIa2Qc&ab_channel=RelationshipVision%E2%84%A2
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Daniel A. Linder is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Relationship Therapist and Trainer, an Addiction and Intervention specialist, with nearly four decades of experience working with individuals, couples and families.
The Birth and Life of an Intimate Relationship
The Miracle of Connection cracks the code to make the miracle of connection happen for yourself so that you can forge deeper and more intimate connections than you ever imagined was possible.