Boundaries Are Sacred

Friday, June 14, 2024

Primary Blog/Boundaries Are Sacred

The term boundaries is so often over-used and misused that the profound meaning and implications get lost. Usually, it’s in the context of relating when your (personal) space is being violated or when you’re violating the other’s (personal) space.

I want to de-mystify boundaries so that there is a better understanding of their vital and sacred nature. Which boundaries are sacred and what makes them sacred?

The boundary is the invisible dividing line between you and I and is what makes us two separate and autonomous Selves, with designated pronouns (‘me’ and ‘you.’) Boundaries establish the ground each person is standing, each with their own piece of real estate space for ‘me’ to be me and ‘you’ to be you. Boundaries are invisible but are palpably present in the eye of consciousness. (“I am me, here, and you are you, there.”)

The implication is that you are honoring or paying homage to each of your unique essences, inherent differences that are always equal in importance and value, and those differences are what deepens the bond between you. - regardless the differences. Boundaries levels the playing field and is a blueprint of the structure upon which the relationship is built, the bridge that connects them, makes them an, ‘us.’

However, before you can build the bridge or conceive a connection, these boundaries must be in place consciously (or subliminally). You must be conscious and connected within yourself to feel those boundaries and know where they are. You have to operate as two separate, autonomous Selves before you can connect – the prerequisite and precondition- separate yet connected.

And there is the sacred boundary that acts as the golden seal of preservation of the womb space of co-creation between ‘me’ and ‘you.’ This boundary becomes a sacred bond that aligns the two of you in purpose, just me and you, forever. This sacred boundary gets re-purposed during traditional (marital) vows. “…until death do we part” No matter what happens, how connected or disconnected we are at times, our relationship between me and you, and (we) will be co-creating our relationship every step of the way, one encounter at a time in the sacred space of co-creation.

An ever-growing and deepening relationship depends on the couple’s ability to protect and preserve the sacred space of co-creation the ‘us’ space in real time, drawing on each other’s experience in the here and now moment.

Yes. Rely on the connections you make and intimacy you create for sustenance!

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Hi, Daniel

Daniel A. Linder is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Relationship Therapist and Trainer, an Addiction and Intervention specialist, with nearly four decades of experience working with individuals, couples and families.

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