Over Involved with a Former Boyfriend.

I recently got involved with my boyfriend, whom I haven't seen in 25 + years. We got back together for 1 1/2 months and everything was great. Then he went back to his old girlfriend because of her daughter (so he says.) What can I do to get him back?

I really care about him and he says he cares about me. He said we have to be friends right now, but she won't let him talk to me much less see me. When he does talk to me it is from his work or on the way home. He's not allowed to contact me when she is around or she yells and screams and he said she gets really mean to him.

Is there anything I can do or say to make him see that all she is doing is abusing him and he needs to get out now. They were together for 3 years off and on. We were together for a short time and were talking about getting married and having a family. I'm just lost and confused.

Please help.

Thanks.

Response from Daniel...

Pursuing a relationship despite indications that he is still involved with someone else is a red flag warning signal, that the relationship is doomed to be an unhealthy or dysfunctional one. It's likely that you're bordering on desperation, driven by unconscious unmet emotional needs, and doesn't bode well for the prognosis of the relationship. It sounds like you are depending on this relationship to be other than what it is right now. I recommend that you get some individual therapy to learn better how to exercise healthy self-interest, take better care of yourself, shift your attention away from him on to yourself, and to distance and detach yourself emotionally.