Isn't all Human Behavior Based on a Relationship Model?
Isn't your article entitled: The Relationship Model of Addiction just a summary for co-dependency? A relationship model of addiction seems to put under the microscope the various relationships of subject and source ... subject and subject, for example, addict and gambling, addict to addict. Isn't all human behavior based on a relationship model? I suppose it is interesting that this can be seen as new news, but I thought that this was how things were all along.
For instance, I used to be a musician. I would talk with people, when asked, about the multiple relationships that were taking place during a song. There was a relationship between me and in the instrument, me and the group I worked with, and a relationship happening between our instruments communicating (in key, on time, etc.,) and then of course, a relationship with the song, which had a need to be fulfilled; it had to unravel in melody, harmony and time.
If I read this all correctly, I am seeing the relationship model as terribly similar...We are just looking at every aspect of who we were when active.
You can tell me if I read this all wrong ... but these were the first things that came to mind.
Response from Daniel...
Thank you for your thoughtful question. Sure everything and everyone exists in relationship to everything and everyone else. However, by interpreting The Relationship Model of Addiction in these most general terms, you’re stripping away its intended meaning and purpose and are losing sight of its
context. The Relationship Model is intended to pick up where the Disease concept leaves off and in so doing, expand our understanding of addiction, recovery and treatment. The emphasis on ‘relationship’ is merely to humanize the phenomenon of addiction and no longer be limited by a
strictly medical orientation and terminology. I want to highlight key points. The specific relationship referred to in The Relationship Model of Addiction is the relationship with a source of relief, i.e. a mind/mood altering substance, gambling, porn or sex, which can be likened to a secret love affair -- a relationship that becomes overpowering and all-consuming, characterized by a high level of excitement, heavy emotional involvement, secrecy, deception and denial. As I expound on in the article in Recovery Today, “pathological dependence” implies a relationship predetermined due to genetic or bio-chemical factors, but it is a relationship in which there are significant mental, emotional and psychological dynamics operating, dynamics previously ignored or rendered irrelevant by the medical establishment. It’s a relationship that often begins at the point of discovery and continues to
develop from that point on, and does so while remaining insulated from the addict’s awareness. As you read further, The Relationship Model also accounts for etiology or cause in ways never touched upon or clarified by the Disease Concept. The ‘relief’ that the ‘relationship with a source of relief’ provides is from pain or frustration related to unmet emotional needs. This pain from unmet emotional needs is the driving force underlying the addiction. When it comes to etiology, we may presume that there is a residue of pain resulting from of a history of dysfunctional, non-emotionally nourishing family of origin relationships as well as current ones.
As we shift our attention to recovery and treatment, The Relationship Model of Addiction again has far-reaching implications because we’re honing in on the transition from unhealthy, non-emotionally nourishing relationships to
healthy ones, a transition that must take place in order to ensure and sustain a quality recovery, as well, in order for treatment to be effective. If you can accept the theoretical framework that accounts for the etiology of addiction, i.e. addiction is based on the need to relieve pent-up pain from unmet emotional needs sourced from non-emotionally nourishing relationships, it’s not that great of a leap to then recognize that the ability to create emotionally nourishing relationships is a primary objective in recovery and treatment. My Relational Recovery, Empowering the Transformation of Relationships details basic principles, pitfalls, challenges, making gaining the understanding and skills necessary for creating intimate relationships
possible.
For instance, I used to be a musician. I would talk with people, when asked, about the multiple relationships that were taking place during a song. There was a relationship between me and in the instrument, me and the group I worked with, and a relationship happening between our instruments communicating (in key, on time, etc.,) and then of course, a relationship with the song, which had a need to be fulfilled; it had to unravel in melody, harmony and time.
If I read this all correctly, I am seeing the relationship model as terribly similar...We are just looking at every aspect of who we were when active.
You can tell me if I read this all wrong ... but these were the first things that came to mind.
Response from Daniel...
Thank you for your thoughtful question. Sure everything and everyone exists in relationship to everything and everyone else. However, by interpreting The Relationship Model of Addiction in these most general terms, you’re stripping away its intended meaning and purpose and are losing sight of its
context. The Relationship Model is intended to pick up where the Disease concept leaves off and in so doing, expand our understanding of addiction, recovery and treatment. The emphasis on ‘relationship’ is merely to humanize the phenomenon of addiction and no longer be limited by a
strictly medical orientation and terminology. I want to highlight key points. The specific relationship referred to in The Relationship Model of Addiction is the relationship with a source of relief, i.e. a mind/mood altering substance, gambling, porn or sex, which can be likened to a secret love affair -- a relationship that becomes overpowering and all-consuming, characterized by a high level of excitement, heavy emotional involvement, secrecy, deception and denial. As I expound on in the article in Recovery Today, “pathological dependence” implies a relationship predetermined due to genetic or bio-chemical factors, but it is a relationship in which there are significant mental, emotional and psychological dynamics operating, dynamics previously ignored or rendered irrelevant by the medical establishment. It’s a relationship that often begins at the point of discovery and continues to
develop from that point on, and does so while remaining insulated from the addict’s awareness. As you read further, The Relationship Model also accounts for etiology or cause in ways never touched upon or clarified by the Disease Concept. The ‘relief’ that the ‘relationship with a source of relief’ provides is from pain or frustration related to unmet emotional needs. This pain from unmet emotional needs is the driving force underlying the addiction. When it comes to etiology, we may presume that there is a residue of pain resulting from of a history of dysfunctional, non-emotionally nourishing family of origin relationships as well as current ones.
As we shift our attention to recovery and treatment, The Relationship Model of Addiction again has far-reaching implications because we’re honing in on the transition from unhealthy, non-emotionally nourishing relationships to
healthy ones, a transition that must take place in order to ensure and sustain a quality recovery, as well, in order for treatment to be effective. If you can accept the theoretical framework that accounts for the etiology of addiction, i.e. addiction is based on the need to relieve pent-up pain from unmet emotional needs sourced from non-emotionally nourishing relationships, it’s not that great of a leap to then recognize that the ability to create emotionally nourishing relationships is a primary objective in recovery and treatment. My Relational Recovery, Empowering the Transformation of Relationships details basic principles, pitfalls, challenges, making gaining the understanding and skills necessary for creating intimate relationships
possible.
posted by RelationshipVision at 1:01 PM
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