Is the Prognosis for a Healthy Relationship Better in Recovery when Someone is also in Recovery?

I have a friend whom I have gotten to know over the last year. He has taken every step to gain and maintain his sobriety including abstaining from any romantic relationship during his first year of recovery. Recently he has started dating and he only seems interested in dating women who are themselves recovering addicts. My question is whether or not this behavior is healthy.

I am not suggesting that anyone who has been an addict is not capable of forming healthy romantic relationships. I am just worried for my friend because the risk of falling of the wagon is high regardless of whom you are dating and if you dating someone who also is a recovering addict I would think that the risk is possibly
greater. I am asking this question because I want my friend to stay clean and sober.

Is my concern misplaced?

Response from Daniel….

Thank you for your post.

I don't know whether the prognosis for the relationship is better when a recovering addict with a year of sobriety/recovery is dating another recovering addict as opposed to someone not in recovery per se. Your concern is valid in terms of the likelihood for unresolved dependency issues for either or both people to pose problems or jeopardize the future and quality of the developing relationship given their tendencies to seek relief from sources outside of themselves. However, as long as both people have their priorities in place, i.e. each working their own program, each on a path of recovery for themselves, their relationship can develop into a quality and lasting one. There is also the potential to better support each other when both know what is at stake if they veer off course, as well as when and if they veer off course.

I don't believe that it is necessarily advantageous to limit relationship prospects to one or the other. If a recovering addict with a year of sobriety/recovery gets involved with someone not in recovery, the onus of responsibility for their own self-care and staying on a path of recovery, i.e. continuing to work a program falls on his/her shoulders, as it would anyway. Just because someone is not in recovery per se doesn't mean that s/he doesn't have their own baggage, unresolved family of origin issues, trauma from previous relationships that holds tremendous sabotage potential. I don't think that it is safe to assume that non-recovering people are healthier or better equipped to handle the rigors of an intimate relationship than recovering addicts. Intimacy is a monumental challenge for everyone regardless of their relationship history. It only becomes more challenging when one's his experience is limited to predominantly dysfunctional relationships.