Can't Seem to Get Out of this Relationship.

Comment from the Advice Corner..

I just can't seem to get out of this. I know with my head/brain what should be done, but as he is incapable of having the intimate relationship that I want and need, I am incapable of getting out of the misery that have got myself into.

Daniel's Response...

Certainly you are capable. Are you properly motivated is a question to consider. Is what you say you want really what you want?

You are watching yourself settle and are unable to act on your own behalf, with healthy self-interest, in a way consistent with the pursual of intimacy. This is a therapy issue. Your self-governing system could use some scrutiny. Being empowered means having a vision, operating with healthy self/interest, and creating self-affirming interactions during the course of the relationship, ones that deepen intimacy.

Look at if the seeds you are planting is relation to what is it that you want to see growing.

Right now staying in a miserable situation appears more compelling than getting out.

"Being incapable of having the intimate relationship that you want and need" may afford you the excuse you need to escape having to deal with the risks intimacy poses. Vulnerability comes with the territory. Decision-making also comes with the territory. Realizing you are alone and all you have is yourself.

Are you in therapy?